A long time ago, before global warming, there was a season called winter. Depending on exactly where you were in the Northern hemisphere (above the tropic), winter was so cold that rain fell as snow, and open water would freeze. People would shovel snow off their driveways, ski, and complain about winter, as forms of winter exercise. Since the roads frequently had snow or ice on them, cycling outdoors was dangerous, and it was much too cold to be comfortable doing this; so cyclists developed ways of riding indoors.
What with global warming, we no longer have a winter. Sure, we still call it winter, but there is almost never snow or ice on the ground, and many cyclists ride outdoors year round, though most of those declare an "off season" that was frequently a Thursday afternoon in November. But old traditions die hard, and the tools and techniques developed by cyclists in the old "real winter" days are still here, being used by some of the traditionalists.
Hence, indoor roller racing.
Roller racing is done indoors, so is unaffected by weather. Two riders face each other on two sets of rollers. Each set of rollers drives a pointer on a shared dial. The pointers show distance. To start a roller race both riders are stopped on their rollers, with the pointers lined up at the starting point. Each rider is held upright so they can start with both hands on the handle bars. While traditionally this is done on a 98 gear inch track bike, the shortage of track bikes, and riders who can ride track bikes, has caused the roller racing aficionados to become a little flexible, and allow road bikes using a 53-14 gear (which is about 99.5 gear inches, depending on wheel/tire size. A timer calls out "riders ready!" and then "go!" There is very little load on the rollers, so riders are spinning as fast as they can, going over 40 mph. While the race could go for any distance, apparently ½ mile, 1 mile and 2 miles are frequently raced distances. With the low load, high cadence and resulting very high speed, roller races are over in a matter of a few seconds.
Feeling that he had done "OK" at being an old dog learning a new trick (group riding and masters age group racing), the wheelsucker was easily convinced by Bobby "The Baltimore Bullet" Phillips to try roller racing. The roller racing setup is in Bobby’s basement, just north of the Baltimore beltway, so one evening a week the wheelsucker shows up at Bobby’s place and meets a few more cyclists encouraged (by Bobby) to try roller racing.
The wheelsucker had been under the impression that being able to ride on rollers was a prerequisite for roller racing. This was a show stopper for the wheelsucker, who – having talked president Shapter up to $150 – bought a set of rollers from him, but has so far failed to ride a bike on them for more than 15 seconds at a time, and has scared himself silly trying. But the Baltimore Bullet was very persuasive, saying he was a great teacher.
Evening one: Encouraged by Bobby, Track-Sean and Carol, the wheelsucker tried to get going on the roller racing rollers. With Bobby holding the head tube and seatpost, the wheelsucker was able to "ride the rollers" and was even able to stay on the rollers for short periods of time, while Bobby would let go. Fortunately Bobby is rather good at this, and would grab the wheelsucker’s head tube and seatpost just before the wheelsucker "lost it", so despite coming very close every 15 or 20 seconds, the wheelsucker did not actually crash off the rollers. When it came time to "race" for time, Bobby did not dare let go of the wheelsucker's bicycle, as the flailing wheelsucker was all over the rollers, would have been off them in short order, and the nearby contents of Bobby’s basement were at risk, to say nothing of the aging wheelsucker himself.
It turns out the wheelsucker is not bad at flailing, and with Bobby’s firm grip on the bike, the wheelsucker turned in some respectable times.
Evening two: Acutely aware that he had not in fact mastered a new trick (but was only doing it with Bobby literally holding his bike on the rollers), the wheelsucker was determined to have another go. A somewhat different group were already there when the wheelsucker arrived, Janet, not one but two track riders named Sean, John K. and another rider whose name escaped the wheelsucker’s aging memory. The other riders had already started their races. The wheelsucker decided to warm up on another set of rollers. These were carefully positioned next to a steel post, but were – in retrospect – perhaps a little to close to a free standing shelf containing pictures of Bobby and his parents cycling, some trophies, and some extra water bottles. The wheelsucker managed to get the bike on the rollers, himself on the bike clipped into the pedals, and holding firmly to the steel post, started pedaling. This was working fine until it was time to let go the post and move that hand to the handlebars. The wheelsucker was having trouble with this transition and had several aborted attempts – frantically grabbing the steel post each time to save himself – before trying the free standing shelf, as it was closer to the handlebars. The wheelsucker regrets that his flailing knocked several items off the shelf, and caused multiple pictures to fall over flat on the shelf as the wheelsucker fell off the rollers to the left, being saved from a complete crash by John K. who grabbed him on the way down. By mutual consent, John and the wheelsucker agreed that the wheelsucker should avoid warming up by himself.
The wheelsucker turned in respectable times (but keep in mind Bobby was holding him on the rollers) of 1:14 for the mile, 2:32 for the two mile and 29 seconds for the half mile.
As John Krawczyk wrote:
I’m still hurting. I didn’t think it would be possible to ride 2 miles in 2 ½ minutes, or beat Ali at something this year (if only by a second and a half), even on rollers.
Thanks for hosting this Bob.
In case you’re all wondering, Bob kicked all our asses at ½ mile (27 sec) and 1 mile (59 sec). Ali did great at the ½ (29 sec), the 1 (1:14) and 2 mile (2:32) distances for someone who’s not a roller rider. A little more practice on them, and he’ll cut those times down even more. FWIW I covered the ½ in 31 sec, the 1 mile in 1:22 (bad pacing) and the 2 miles at 2:31. Ali and I went head to head on the 2 mile. He was tough, but I edged him on lap 10 with a killer sprint finish that knocked a cleat screw right out my shoe.
The wheelsucker is looking forward to trying again next week. It is a unique experience – at least for the wheelsucker – to warm up by riding the rollers for less than a mile and then going as hard as an aging wheelsucker can go, for all of 29 seconds. It is amazing how tired and out of breath one can become in only 29 seconds. The notion of working very hard and not actually going anywhere also seems strangely familiar.
Wheelsucker data:
Total duration: 13:16 (that is thirteen MINUTES)
Distance 5.20 miles
125 calories
Max HR 168
Max power 547 watts
Max cadence 178rpm
Max speed 51.2mph
Bobby Stu and John set up a bike for John to demo his FITTE system on
Three guesses as to which one John is ...
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